Let me share my story with you.  For several years, I had a bad impression of Taiwan.  Why?  Thanks to the media.  Whenever there is news on Taiwan, what I get to see is politicians (including lady politicians) fighting like thugs in the street.  Although it may seem amusing at times, slowly but surely, I was lead to believe that this is a ‘distasteful’ place to be in.  This goes on for a long time and I tell myself that if the leaders can behave in such a manner, what more can I expect from its people and the place?  So, I made up my mind that I would never want to visit the country and was pretty sure that my decision was correct.

Somehow, by some twist of events, I find myself heading to Taiwan for a vacation.  I was mentally prepared for a so-so or even lesser holiday.  But, I have to admit that I was wrong and so terribly wrong.  Since the trip, my impression of Taiwan took a 180 degree turn.  It is a lovely country with friendly and helpful folks, vibrant night markets, yummy desserts and great tasting fruits and coffee, thrilling coach ride up and through steep mountains, leisurely train ride amidst scenic sea view, relaxing dip in hot spring, cool and nice weather…

Can you think of any negative or limiting beliefs you are currently holding? Whether of yourself, another person, an activity, a place, a type of food, a type of job etc.  Be open to the possibility that what you are holding may not really be the truth even though you may have held them for ages.  Think about it.  Re-look at it.  And hopefully something wonderful and refreshing awaits you.

We all know that we are imperfect.  That’s the common denominator of human beings.  We too have our fair share of flaws.  Some of us are grumpy.  Some may worry too much.   Some are sadists.  Some are revengeful.  Some are rebellious.  Some are full of themselves.  Some are rude and demanding.  Some are jealous.  Some like to gossip.  Some are distant and cold.   Some are wasteful.  Some are selfish.  Some are stingy.  Some are ungrateful.  Some are insensitive and the list goes on.  If we have flaws, then why do we expect others to be perfect?  Why do we feel agitated when others are not behaving in a certain manner?

Although we are not perfect, there’s no denying that we are all great in our own ways.  Focus on the greatness of others.  See the good in them.  Don’t let isolated unpleasant happenings affect the relationships.  Learn to accept that sometimes people will not behave in the way we expect them to be.  Just as sometimes we may hurt others unintentionally.  See the irritants as part of the big picture.

When we accept that no one is perfect, we will be less demanding on ourselves and others and can enjoy better and rewarding relationships.

” I have flaws and you have flaws so there’s no reason to bawl.  I accept your flaws and you accept my flaws and our relationship can surely soar.”

Even though you are now out of your discomfort zone, this does not mean that you are immediately entering a comfort zone.  You look ahead and what lies ahead seems foggy.  Do the next best thing.  Tune inwards and that will shed some light.  Ask yourself, ‘What do I love to do?  What are my strengths and talents?  How can I best serve the needs of others?’  List all the things that come to your mind including the absurd ones.

Do the next best thing.  Pick one that you feel strongly for and take one small step towards it.  You may have a strong interest in baking cakes and never fail to receive warm reception to your cakes.  You may want to start with taking up a baking course to enhance your skills.  Do one thing a time.  Enjoy the moment.

While making your way through the journey of uncertainty, there will be times that you may feel down, lonely and  disheartened.  It is normal.  You may not be able to see far down the road and sometimes wonder if you are moving the right way.  Don’t worry too much.  Have faith that light will shine on your path every time you take another step.  You just need to follow your heart and move from one step to the next.  Don’t be overly concerned about what lies several hundred steps away.  Stay focus.  Be discipline.  One step a time, you will be guided.

Remember that the darkest hour is just before dawn.  You will just have to hang in there.  And dawn will surely come.

The thing he fears most is approaching.  It is the National Physical Fitness Assessment (NAPFA) where every student is tested on his overall physical fitness.  He will be required to go through 6 test stations namely the sit-up, sit and reach, standing broad jump, pull up, shuttle run and the 2.4km walk/run.

Scot’s biggest headache is the 2.4km walk/run.  During practice runs, he usually clocks more than the maximum time set for a pass to be awarded.  He knows that running is not his cup of tea, but somehow, he has a big dream.  He wants to beat Danny, an athletic guy in his class who is in the school badminton team.

Time is running short.  He knows he must do something.  Apart from the weekly practice runs in school, he pushes himself to run another 2.4km in a park near his home on weekend.  It is exhausting to run non-stop and he usually has to break a few times and walk for some distance.

Scot’s mother was with him during the weekend practices and noticed that his style of running was slowing him down.  She pointed out to him and advised him to follow the shortest possible path instead of running in a zigzag manner.  Also, she advised him to bend a little forward while running and align his body at an angle instead of being perpendicular to the ground.  Scot tried out the new methods and clocked better timing.

On the day of the test run, Scot woke up all excited.  He had a hearty breakfast comprising cereals with milk followed by a yummy chocolate bar.  Before the run, he drank a bottle of energy drink.  When the whistle blew, he sprang forward and ran like never before.  He ran and ran without even resting.  He was very clear on his goal.  That he must defeat Danny.  Occasionally, he would turn behind but found Danny nowhere near him.  Scot crossed the finishing line almost wanting to throw up.  But he was exuberant and he had good reasons to.  He had beaten Danny and even came in an impressive 6th position.  What a great achievement!  Even his classmates and teachers could hardly believe it.

Just like Scot, you too can get what you want.  But you would need these 7 important ingredients:

1) Hunger.  You must be hungry for what you are after.  This will fuel your pursuit and keep you focused and motivated.

2) Belief.  You must believe that you can do it.  That it is possible to achieve.  Failing which you are bound to fail.

3) Action.  You must take action to move from where you are to where you want to go.  Just being hungry is not enough.

4) Close the gap.  Wherever you are now to wherever you want to be, there is a gap.  It may be a gap in skills, relationships, habits or ways of doing things.  Do all you can to improve yourself and close the gap.

5) Perseverance.  Without this, you will not be able to push through moments of frustrations and obstacles.

6) Endurance.  You need endurance to see you through the pain and discomfort along the way.

7) Keep moving.  Just like Scot, you must run, run and run.  And don’t look back until you have crossed the finishing line.

You can be sad if you wish.  You can be happy if you want.  What else do you want?

You can go for more.  You can go for less.  The one for you best.

You can be gentle with yourself.  You can be hard on yourself.  Only time will tell.

You can bury your head in the sand.  You can face fear squarely in the eyes.  And say hello and bye.

You can stay in the comfort zone.  You can embrace the unknown.  Just do away with the moan.

You can close your eyes yet see hope.  You can open your eyes and await doom.  There is no lack of room.

You can eat peanuts.  You can eat donuts.  What happens when it moves through the gut?

You can curse when it rains.  You can have fun when it rains.  Only the wise will gain.

You can forgive and forget.  You can carry the baggage.  Be free or be caged.

You can take one small step each day towards your dream.  You can pretend that it only happens in your dream.

You can create positive experience with positive thoughts.  You can create negative experience with negative thoughts.

You can offer a listening ear to someone dear.  You can act as though you cannot hear.

You can live as though the whole world is for you.  You can live as though the whole world is out to get you.

North South East West, live the way you deem best.

There was one incident that left a deep imprint in my mind.  That round, we were  supposed to draw and paint anything related to the sea.  We were told to find a suitable picture and reproduce it.  I had a tough time.  I remember I was still working on the drawing at about 2am to 3am in the morning of the deadline.  I felt frustrated and as I fought back my tears, I splashed black paint all over the drawing.  There was a small sampan in the sea.  The sky was dark.  The sea was even darker and stormier.  The waves were threatening.  It was raining heavily with bolts of lightning.  The winds were howling.  It was a scary sight.

Although I did not fare too badly for that piece of artwork, I began to hate Arts.  It was a torture attending Arts classes.  My drawings were stiff and dead.  I  kept telling myself that I was really bad at drawing.  That I was not even able to draw simple objects decently.

However, I made a stunning discovery recently.  I have always been fascinated with cartoons.  The adorable Disney characters.  The cartoon bear.  The cartoon man.  The cartoon animals.  The cartoon monsters.  All kinds of cartoons.  One day, out of nowhere, a small voice whispered to me, “Why don’t you learn how to draw cartoons?”  Without much thought, I responded,”I am lousy at drawing.  I can never draw.”

Strangely, some days later, I surfed the internet on cartoon drawing and found an interesting website that teaches cartoon drawing online.  I followed the instructions and was pleasantly surprised that I could draw stick man, wooden man and sausage man.  Although these are basic level drawings and do not call for much drawing skill, I feel very proud of my master pieces.

Can you believe it?  Someone who has, for years, lost faith in drawing can finally draw something decent?  Now I am confident that with practice, I will be able to draw better.  How naive of me to have carried the thought for years that I cannot draw and deprive myself of such immense pleasure and deep fulfillment.

Have you ever been told that you are hopeless at something?  Have you ever been told that you are not cut out for a job?  Have you somehow lost faith after having gone through some bad experiences?  If your answer is positive, do have second thought.  Re-examine the situation.  Be open to possibility as the truth may turn out to be otherwise.

Never let anyone or previous bad experience stifle your potential or creativity.  Regain your faith and let yourself shine.

Don’t try to be somebody else.  Be the best of yourself.  You are born with the potential to become a unique great being.  Follow your heart.  Discover and develop your special talents and strengths.  Serve with love.  Walk your way even though you may feel a little lonely and unsure in the beginning.  Don’t follow others.  Every one has their own path to travel, so have you.

Sometimes it may seem easier to be somebody else.  You may even feel happy for a moment or two.  But you know that the joyful moments will not last because you are not fulfilling yourself.  You will feel empty and meaningless trying to be somebody else.

Feel proud of yourself.   Don’t hide your true self.   Get to know yourself.  What do you like?  Do them.  What do you loathe?  Stay away from them.  Don’t force yourself to do things against your will.  Don’t change yourself to suit others.  Stand firm.  Remain as who you are.  Look within you.  Who are you?  Be guided by your inner light and bring out the best in yourself.

Love yourself.  Believe in yourself.  Live your unique style even if the people around you may not endorse your actions and behaviors.  They do not know your way.  Only you will know.

Take up the challenge.  Dare to be yourself.

According to the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, ‘worry’ is defined as ‘to keep thinking about unpleasant things that might happen or about problems that you have’.  How then can we stop worrying?  How can we stop thinking about unpleasant things that might happen?  How can we stop thinking about the problems that we have?  Here are 7 easy ways as follows:

1) Keep yourself busy.  When you are occupied physically and mentally, you will not have time to think about unpleasant things and get worried unnecessary.

2) Think only of pleasant things that might happen.  Focus on the positive.  Do not dwell on things that depress you.  Instead spend your time on things that will lift you.

3) Know that worrying alone is not constructive.  You are entertaining negative thoughts and carrying excessive negative thoughts will certainly lead to health problems.  So, wise up and stop worrying.

4) Don’t worry about past mistake or misdeed.  It is already over and done with.  No matter how much you worry, the situation will not change.  Let the past be in the past.  Let it rest.

5) Likewise, don’t worry about the future.  No amount of worrying will affect future occurrence.  Whatever will come, will come.  Whatever will not come, will not come.  Do yourself a favor.  Cross the bridge only when you come to it.

6) Instead of worrying about your problem, think of ways to handle the situation.  Brainstorm and list all the possible solutions.  Go through each and every one and decide on the best possible solution.  Then, take action.  With every action and positive step, the problem will slowly but surely diminish.

7)  There may be times when you find yourself up against a tough situation and that there is nothing much you can do about it.  If that being the case, surrender and let it be.  Tell the problem you are sorry that you are not able to help and will leave it to take care of itself.  Send it away with love.

Stop worrying and start living.

The feeling is wonderful, right?  You feel yourself being lifted and any worry or frustration you may have at the moment simply disappear.  The effect can be nourishing and/or healing.  Since being appreciated is such a wonderful gift and it really doesn’t cost much, why not make it a habit to show your appreciation and make someone’s day whenever you can?

You can show your appreciation in many ways.  It does not have to be elaborate.  It’s the thought that counts.  Here’s some suggestions:

1) Say thank you.  It is the easiest thing to do and it creates warm and good feelings.  Do it often.  When someone brings you something.  When someone helps you.  When someone makes your day.

2) Send a thank-you note or card.  There are many occasions to write.  For a good dining experience.  For an issue satisfactorily resolved.  For help received.  For great time spent together.

3) Give sincere compliments.  If you like your colleague’s new hair style, tell her so.  If you like a friend’s idea, say so.  If you see a beautiful piece of floral arrangement, compliment the person behind the great work.

4) Plant small surprises.  Give a small present or hand-made gift when it is not expected.  You do not have to wait till birthdays or some occasions to show your appreciation.

5) Recognize efforts even if the outcome is unknown.  When your child puts in effort to improve his grade.  When your staff stays behind to handle a last-minute order.  When your spouse is on his first attempt to cook a meal.  Appreciate their efforts.  Say something nice to motivate.

6) Show your appreciation in person.  Tell the person how much you appreciate him or her.  Let the person know that he or she matters a lot to you.

7) Show your appreciation through actions.  Gave the person a warm bear hug.  Instead of ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’, try ‘a hug a day keeps the doctor away’.

8)  Do something impromptu.  Tell your wife not to cook this evening as you will bring the family out for dinner.  Give her a well deserved break.

9) Always focus on the good in people and tell them so.  Spread goodwill, sprinkle sunshine.

Show your appreciation.  Help make our living space more joyful and meaningful.

If you always think that certain things are not possible or not within your reach, you will attract the very thing you always think of.  If you program your mind to expect dismal outcome, then dismal result you will receive.  Whatever you want, it must first appear in your thoughts, be held in your mind and most important of all, you must believe with your heart and soul and feel in your bones that you can attain.  Your external reality is a reflection of your internal reality.  If inwardly you do not believe you can, then ‘what you do not believe’ will be manifested outwardly.  Likewise, ‘what you believe’ will also be manifested in your life.

Say if you have wanted to lose weight and have not been successful in your previous attempts.  You gave up hope.  You believe that it is not possible to lose weight.  That you need to live with your weight problem forever.  Now, what you can do is to abandon ‘impossible’ and embrace ‘possible’.  Find a quiet place free of distractions.  Be comfortable.  Tell yourself that it is possible to lose weight.  That you will achieve your desired weight in its best possible time.

Visualize yourself in the desired outcome.  Picture yourself in your favorite jeans and smiling radiantly in the company of your family and friends.  Engage the power of affirmation.  You may wish to use this affirmation or suitable ones like ‘ I am fitting easily, beautifully and happily into my favorite jeans in its perfect time’.  Affirm at least twice a day, once in the morning and once before you go to bed.  Surround yourself with favorite pictures of yourself or your idol in nice fitting jeans.  Display them as screen saver and on your desk.  Stick them on your mirror and fridge.

Now that you have reprogrammed your mind to transmit the correct signal into the Universe, the latter will pick up from there, perform divine work to re-orchestrate events and re-shuffle people to help bring about your desired goal.  Your job is to take the next small step towards your goal.

There are many ways to lose weight.  The easiest way is to reduce consumption and increase metabolism.  Before you begin, make your plan fun and interesting.  Give your plan a name.   You may adopt ‘My little exciting ride from XL to M’ or any name you have in mind.  Write the name in a notebook.  Monitor your progress.  Date and record your current weight.  You are now ready for your little adventure.

Reduce consumption.  Change your serving size.  Start with 20% less against your usual serving.  Be persistent.  If you have a habit of taking excessive junk food, make an effort to reduce consumption by at least 50%.  Instead of a large pack of fries, ask for a small pack.  Instead of having a big tub of ice cream at one go, be contented with two scoops at one seating.  Alternatively, substitute your craving with healthy food or snacks.  Meanwhile, drink lots of water, at least eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

Get active.  Get moving.   Burn more calories.  Clean the house,  do gardening, take the stairs instead of the elevator and  create opportunity to walk some distance instead of having the vehicle sending you right to the doorstep.  Take morning or evening walks, go hiking, join aerobic, learn dancing, play a game or two or do any thing that you enjoy that requires movements.

Monitor your progress every 3 to 4 weeks.  Follow up diligently.  Be inspired by your progress even if it is showing small result.  Every bit adds.  It only takes time.  Be patient.  Reward yourself for every pound lost.  Once it reaches 20% of your desired target, celebrate and have some fun.  Keep your focus on your goal and eat and live in alignment to your goal.  Do research and find out other ways to manage your weight.  In no time, you would have completed your little adventurous ride and emerge from the train smiling radiantly in your favorite pair of blue jeans.